Here are my goals for 2014.
I want to pursue knowing God more deeply through surrender, study and a stronger focus on prayer. Advent uncovered some stony unbelief in my heart, and I am praying that God will cut through all of the fogginess those untended corners can bring. Whatever He does do this year, I want to keep showing up. I struggle most with being persistent and specific in my prayer life, so I’m feeling drawn to focus on that. My dear friend recommended Val Marie Paper’s prayer journals to me, and I have loved using mine so far.
Mostly, I am committed to wrestling and pulling all of my identity under the truth that I am Loved.
I want to know, love and like Tom more than ever. We have more flexibility than we’ve ever had in the day to day, and I am focused on serving him and spending time with him.
I want to disciple my children by consistently seeking the Lord together, establishing daily habits of togetherness and parenting them one-on-one more frequently. I hope we’ll read aloud more together. I hope we’ll draw near over the Word more and more frequently. My biggest challenge will be finding more individual time, which I am finding is a high need since we are in some transitional years as far as age.
I long to serve my family by establishing and maintaining rhythms that anchor our home and communicate my love for them. Basically, I hope to grow in tending to our home life.
I want to focus on my overall health with an emphasis on making wise and moderate choices and meditating on God’s truth about me. I have so, so much to say about my health journey. I just refuse to spend one more year focused on losing weight. I’m tired of it. I’m feeling a little disillusioned with all of the healthy eating talk right now as I don’t see much of Christ being brought into the dos and don’ts. In the past month, I’ve come to a realization: as I’ve ventured more and more into healthy eating ideology, I’ve become that weird food person, which feels ok but isolating. Full disclosure? My family does not love the way we have been eating lately.
Still. I battle my self image and long to change every single day–many, many moments throughout every single day. I’m not sure where this leaves me except that I would love to make meals my husband actually likes. He eats whatever I make, but I would love to see him genuinely excited to eat a meal he loves. And I see. I see (Jamie Foxx SNL skit, anyone?) that we live in a culture that worships food and diversity and availability. I don’t want to be fooled by a false freedom, but I’m not sure I haven’t been exchanging that for a different kind of worship: a worship of what I can do.
So. All I know is that I want to believe what God has said about me. Change happens this way: mind, heart, actions. I’m starting with my mind this year and reading over and over again how He loves me. Then, I’m trusting John 10:4: that Christ goes before me and that the more I know His voice, the more easily I will follow Him. God has a path marked out for me. I won’t lie. I’m afraid to not start with what I can do, but this feels more hopeful than any other way. This doesn’t mean that I’m abandoning all of what I’ve learned over the past year. I’m just bringing all of that under the truth-telling light of God’s Word.
I want to be brave this year. I am prayerfully pursuing some new things with my writing, and I am scared. I feel a strong allegiance to who my audience is and want to circle around that more and more. Mostly, I want to write in a way that illuminates God’s work in my life and connects me to others.
Real talk? This is the kind of post that leaves me feeling overwhelmed. There is much here, and I know I’ll fall short over and over again. I will be selfish. I will yell. I will oversleep. I will leave dirty dishes in the sink. I will speak in anger. I will let others down. A lot. Perfection is not my goal. Growth is.
So. These are my plans. What are yours? I’d love it if you’d share a goal or two for your life right now!