let your heart lie fallow.

In wooden pews on Sunday morning. Stooped over God’s Word at wind-whipped daybreak. Over the kitchen sink as my heart runs ahead. The pricking. Plowing. Tilling. This year has been full of heart preparation, the rocky soil broken and made ready for a planting.

But God let my heart lie fallow. A season of rest for the soil. Nothing planted. Just waiting. My heart has exploded with joy for others as I’ve watched God nurture and grow planted dreams in their lives. And still a bit of sadness tinged the corners as I wondered what my part was. I’ve questioned my significance and I’ve questioned His plan and I’ve wondered aloud about hope.

But when the fallow ground of your heart is ready, the Lord quietly ambles across rows in the thick of night. He tenderly plants while you’re unaware. And you stay unaware until the first tiny sprout pushes up through the ground.

You look at that sprout. You’re amazed. It isn’t what you had been preparing for. But in His goodness and sweetness, God has chosen a plant that only you could know you wanted deep down. Only He knows how you whisper in your heart and cling to the heady scent of gardenia blooms and honeysuckle vine and tea olive carried on soft breezes. He knows what’s been hidden underneath for years and years. A sweet reminder that He holds your heart.

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Recently, I shared that what I thought would be a year of writing became a year of waiting. Something sweet has come out of that waiting: sharing my notes on life with others live and in person with my spoken words. I’m so thankful that the Influence Network keeps letting me come back and share all of my scribblings. I’m teaching again this month on rest and margin. Rest is God’s hope for you; Jesus’ call to you. It IS God’s design for the ebb and flow of life. Margin is the tool to get there. If you feel the call to rest, wonder how to build margin into your life or need to know that the burden of doing, doing, doing is not God’s heart for you, I hope you’ll join me next Thursday night at 9pm (EST). Find more here.

digging and planting.

I’ve been digging up portions of my yard this week, moving plants around and trying to figure out what I’m doing. I’m not very good at anything other than potted flowers and we aren’t going to make huge investments outside because we’ll never recoup them. I’d just like to even things out and make everything look neat.

I spent a few hours digging out a bed along our fence line that was full of blackberry vine, ivy and other crawling type things. It was the kind of work that warrants a plate full of steamy spaghetti and an evening on the couch. And now we’ve had a day of rain and lots left to do over the weekend.

This digging mimics a good bit of what’s been going on in my heart over the past few weeks. Sometimes I feel like I’m a tiny baby in my faith, still trying to work out what it looks like to trust and wait. Watching and learning what it means to count all things joy.

When I wrote about home in October something began in me that is still coursing. I’m still going back through each concept and applying layers upon layers. And reading, reading, reading. I have a feeling that it has felt so fresh recently because I’m going to be sharing even more about being settled and at home in your season very soon.

Next Tuesday night-at 9 pm EST-I’ll be offering a class through the Influence Network on all this jumble of heart stuff. It’s more generally about contentment but it still grows out of the Biblical concept that is home. Really, I’d like to call it a conversation more than anything. I’m certainly not qualified to be an expert as I’m still learning how to apply contentment to my daily life. It’s more like I’m sharing notes.

You can learn more about the class and sign up right here (you’ll receive a link on Tuesday to join in).

I’d love to have y’all be part of this conversation!

whole ladies: one month.

Well, it’s time for another awkward screen capture. Every time. But! The good news is that I finished my whole30 yesterday. I’m not sure I trust myself beyond these 30 days as I’ve felt lots of emotional reactions to foregoing many beloved foods. I talk about this in the video but I think I’ll be sticking pretty close to what I’ve been doing this month with possibly a cheat meal once a week.

I do feel great. I have lost weight (got on the scale this morning). It was so freeing to slide that thing away and not think about it for a month. I’m really leaning toward taking the same approach this month: food and heart first and then weighing after really working on the internal issues.

Let’s talk in the comments! Are you an emotional eater? Do you struggle with understanding what really makes you lovely? What were your struggles and victories this month?

Be sure to head over to Jessi’s for her part of this conversation.

whole ladies. an update.

So. It’s Day 9 for me of a Whole30 and it’s a day to check in and talk about this journey with food. Somehow I let Jessi (Stop by her blog for a video, too!) talk me into recording a video. It is totally outside of my comfort zone and I am probably cringing right this very minute as you are reading because somewhere in my spirit I know someone is watching me talk into a camera thingy. But we want this whole thing to be a conversation and this talking to a camera thingy seemed to fit.

I’ll be sharing three things: a lesson, a challenge and a goal. Oh, I do so hope that ya’ll will chime in down there in the comments. I love to interact with you. Love to. It’s my favorite part. So, please share what God is doing in your heart and mind and body when it comes to taking good care of this thing with legs He gave us to house our hearts.

New Project 6 from ellen parker on Vimeo.

Now. On to the food. I ate some good food this week.

This chicken was a favorite family wide.

And on Sunday I made the most delicious sweet potato soup.

Pioneer Woman Pot Roast. Are there words for this? It really is perfect even when you are out of beef broth and you substitute water and balsamic vinegar.

This recipe for turkey meatballs was tender and so good. I went with my own recipe for marinara and served it all over roasted spaghetti squash.

PS. Still cringing over here.

some community on a saturday morning.

When God made us, gathered up our dust and breathed life in, He gave us a gift. The gift of knowing each other. We give bits and pieces of our hearts and who He is walking out our life here. We’ve been planted, all nestled in. And all the beautiful things that grow in and through us give Him glory. And in this garden for His glory, we spur each other on. We give good things to the soil and bring beauty to one another. We hold hands when life is hard. All this. All this is His splendor.It’s His Body moving and working and having it’s being in Him.

And this is what I love about the Influence Network. Because it is about joining hands and hearts and realizing that we affect people. At home. Online. In the grocery store. At work. We affect them. Influence is all about affecting people for the Lord. And I’m so thankful for that. It’s what I’ve learned and am still learning: that I have a little plot in this garden for His glory. It isn’t always beautiful or easy or comfortable but it’s mine for Him. It’s why I’m excited to serve as a Community Leader at this year’s conference.

On Wednesday the Influence community hosted a link-up, a tiny peek through the lamplit windows of our lives. I’m late to the party but here just the same.

So. Here’s a peek at a recent favorite photo with me in it (most preferred is already in the sidebar) and a few random things you may or may not know about me:

I totally left out the bit about how I had to wear an eye patch in second grade.

But maybe I’ll rustle that one up someday soon. You’re welcome. Smiley face.

whole ladies. day one.

Six months ago my dear friend sent me a text message.

So. I’ve been vegan for a week now.

Just like that. She jumped right in. All these months later, she’s still at it. I’m so proud of her. And when we sat in her kitchen just before Christmas and she talked about the freedom she’s felt in the most powerful ways, something turned a tiny cog in my brain and I’ve been wondering about what it means to be free ever since.

She can’t and doesn’t go through too many drive throughs. They eat out less. I picked up a veggie wrap for her the other day and I had to be really specific. It is work. She gave up some things. She’s gained a strong body, lots of energy and the knowledge that food doesn’t ever have to master her again.

We’ve been set free to be free.

I’ve only talked about this struggle of mine a handful of times. I’m a serial dieter. Weight Watchers. Clean Eating. Low Carb. Low Fat. The Zone. I’ve done them all. I’ve gained and lost weight over and over again. After Christmas I just decided to be. Eat. Be active. Stop striving for weight loss.

What I’m really looking for is freedom from feeling less than. From feeling a far cry from beautiful. From feeling like I’ll never succeed. The truth is that these are heart issues with one treatment. The Truth. Ironically, instead of turning to God’s Word I’ve spent most of my life turning to the very thing that keeps me from losing weight: food.

That’s what drew me to doing a Whole30 (you can find out all about it from the creators by clicking <— right there). It’s not about weight loss. It looks hard as blue blazes. I’ll feel weak at first. I’ll miss grains, legumes, sugar, sugar substitutes, dairy, Diet Dr. Pepper. But we all know what happens when we are weak. I’ll learn to say no. I’ll face down some major food triggers. Full disclosure? I hope I’ll lose weight but I’m pretty sure that will only happen when I stop focusing on it so much and learn to be more healthy about my food choices.

I mentioned this to my friend Jessi as we were texting back and forth last week. I’m in, she responded.

We start today and we’re inviting you. We’re going to be open about this. The heart stuff. The hard stuff. All of it. I’m choosing not to get on a scale the whole 30 days. Jessi will be doing it differently. But. We’ll be doing it together. We’ll share what works and what doesn’t.

We’ll share on Instagram. Twitter. Pinterest. And we’ve got a few ladies joining us. Will you? Even if you don’t do a Whole30, will you be honest about your struggle and join us in spurring each other on? We’ll be back next week with all the rough and the raw of giving up french fries and doing hard things and leaning in to the Lord.

how we really live.

It’s 9:30 on a Wednesday morning and I’ve already had to press the Start Over button at least once. I got up early. I was going to exercise. And then I didn’t. And then I wished I had. And then my husband stayed home and let me go next door to the gym at the children’s home where I ran intervals on a treadmill. Hard. Not fun. Intervals, I have a strong and abiding dislike for you.

Regularly, I get this itch to rearrange everything. And then I stall out. We’ve been living like this for at least a month. If you squint really hard, you can see our old television on the dining room table. Also? A box of Cheerios.

Life goes on. Things are messy and unfinished for most people most of the time. Sometimes our expectations overwhelm us and we start to believe that the laundry pile or the missed workout or the failed goal is some sort of commentary on who we are and how we’re doing.

But. Our strength is in HIS name.

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I have some really exciting news to share with you today! This year, I’ll be heading to the Influence Conference to be a community leader and lead a workshop. There will be so many more details. I hope you’ll pray about meeting me there?

just draw near.

There is One Voice that matters most.

If you want to know what God has to say about you–your life, your future, your past, your dreams, your failures and your successes, His Word is available and powerful and full of truth.

All you need to do is draw near.

I’ve been hard at work planning for my class through The Influence Network THIS THURSDAY night. My brain is a bit of mush but in the best way possible.

You can register here. Or just pray with me.

I’m so thankful for all of you.

new things for your new year.

At 21 I loaded up my parents’ garnet mini van with most of everything I owned in the world. Tom was there. We had just uttered I-love-yous a few weeks before and here I was taking my timid and searching heart off to Roanoke, Virginia. I was going to live in the city and love on the city. For a whole year.

That year brought heartache and heart-swelling and some very humbling stretching. Tom and I broke up. I despaired. People challenged my heart in good ways. We started a youth ministry. We started a neighborhood church. I drove right into poverty for young hearts. Really, God did all these things.

It was a wild and precious season and it still follows me.

Everyday I had many minutes to spend in prayer, reading the Word, worshiping. Feasting like that? It started something in me. You don’t want to settle for tiny, crumbly pieces that have fallen off the table when you’ve feasted. I’ve had my seasons where life has made coming to the table more difficult, where I’ve been complacent or frustrated or fist-shaking or sleep deprived. But somehow God always brings me back in His grace.

A handful of years ago, I got tired of the in between. I’ve been a good Christian girl and sought out Bible study after Bible study. I love the growth that’s been wrought in me there. But what happens in that time after one ends and before another one begins? I felt ill-equipped and overwhelmed.

But God has said that He has given us everything we need for life and godliness. And so I started a quest to just dive into His Word for myself. I love it and my heart is for everyone to know this God-given confidence.

I’ve used too, too many words to tell you that I will be teaching a class this month on studying the Bible through the Influence Network, which launches today. It will be easy and accessible and-I hope-challenging and you can take it in your jammies. It’s mostly more of a conversation about the obstacles of time and belief and how we can overcome both of those through God’s gracious gifting. It’s for anyone. Any.One. I’m not some expert. I’m just a girl who has a heart to know and live by what God has said about me, my life, this world, Himself.

You can head right over here to read more details and register if you’d like. There is a small cost to take the class and/or join the Influence Network. All together, a little bit of your Christmas money would cover this easily. Plus! there are some really wonderful and awesome classes being offered in January.

If you’d like to tell others about it (which I’d be so grateful for), there are a few things you can do. First, I have finally created a facebook page for this blog. You can like it here and share this post from my wall. If you’d like to tweet, you could copy and paste this little ditty:

studying God’s Word. a conversation and class by @sweetwaterellie: http://tinyurl.com/av3mny9 @InfluenceNet

I’d really like for y’all to be a part of this new thing. So, would you share with me about your successes and failures with digging in to the Word?

the no brainer blog.

A handful of years ago I decided to be brave and go to a regional meet-up that included bloggers and a few blog reading non-bloggers. I didn’t know one person. When I walked up to the door, I felt all those cliche type things you feel when you do something new and outside of what is comfortable.

It turns out that I made some really dear friendships that day. Among them is my friendship with Hayley Morgan, otherwise known as The Tiny Twig. Hayley has been the best kind of sharpening friend. We always cut right to the meat of our lives when we talk and she never lets me get away with hazy nebulous type things for long. Hayley helps me bring everything down out of the clouds and figure out what my next steps should be every time.

It’s been a joy to cheer her on as she’s ventured into planning conferences and networks and writing books. Last month Hayley released her latest ebook, a practical and inspiring note on blogging called The No Brainer Blog. In her book, Hayley walks you through vision, voice and space. It’s a start to finish guideline filled with all kinds of rich treasure.

I have to admit that there were many, many useful nuggets in The No Brainer Blog; things I rarely take the time to be intentional about like color stories and social media purposes and photography. My favorite part? The section on voice. It’s what I struggle with the most. Finding my voice. Trusting that I am enough. Believing that I can say something important. Knowing why I want to write. All of those things. Hayley writes that “the process of writing is more important than the product.” I love the grace in that.

So. We’re about to be facing a brand new year straight in the eyes. If you’re like me, you’ll become obsessed with being intentional and making lists and allotting time. If blogging is on your plate or your plan for next year, I know you’d benefit from this well thought out ebook.

And! Hooray! Hayley is graciously offering one free ebook to a commenter today. Leave one comment on this post to be entered.