On Sunday I opened up a magazine and put my feet up. I flipped through page after page until my eyes lighted on a candy bright Christmas tree.
It’s just barely turned fall here. And the city lights are already strung: wreaths and angels and candy canes and snowflakes (my girl’s favorite) hang from street lights. I’m fine with this because I know that in just over two months all of this merriment will be gone and I’ll feel a bit empty and wistful knowing that a whole year stretches out before the season of twinkle lights comes my way again. But when I was looking at that red and green, pine-needled tree, I was really thinking about my recurring dreams.
I’m in high school and I don’t have anywhere to sit in the lunchroom. Also? I forgot my lunch and I don’t have any cash.
I’m on a trip and I lost my hotel key. Also? I forgot my room number.
Everyone’s waiting and I end up being hours late. Also? I can’t find my hair dryer.
It’s Christmas and I’ve forgotten to water the tree. Also? It’s already Easter and I forgot to take the tree down.
My dreams say some things about my heart: I’m so afraid of being lost. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I dread being unprepared and looking weak. I’m really bad at remembering to water the tree. And? I just want a seat at the table.
My life is filled with tell-tale signs: I run ahead and make plans that I think will always get me where I want to go. I try my very hardest to be the best friend/mother/wife/daughter so that no one will ever know my imperfection. I make lists and check them all off one by one. I say yes too much because I’m afraid I’ll miss my chance.
If there were a way to speak into my dreams, to change my heart, I’d say this:
Lost people get found.
Disappointment makes room for grace.
Weakness showcases Strength.
There is a table always set by the King and we are invited.
And so I will say these things, these Truth things over and over and over again and I pray that they’ll prick dream deep.
What do you need to hear dream deep?