I’m sitting on the couch we bought just six months after we got married, sage green and walloped after three children have settled into our family. It’s the house before this one. That house always got the best natural light and, on this early Sunday morning, sunshine is streaming in with a shimmer and shine.
My legs are tucked under and my Bible lays open on my lap. It’s part of the first breaking, where God began to tear my narrow vision of home and sew up the jagged edges with his always truth of Home. My feelings are hurt that some of life is not on my terms. I can’t find anything to say. Only, “Lord,” squeaks out.
And I remember Jeremiah 29:11, a verse used so often my heart had probably hardened to it. God promises a hope. He promises He’s planned a hope that is a fact even if I can’t see it. My heart is overwhelmed. I want to believe that fact. But I can be an emotional absolutist. In my flesh, feelings trump all and somewhere along the way I’ve developed the habit of not asking for the things I hope for the very most. It’s self-protection.
That’s the catch on this 22nd day of writing about hope. It has been digging its hook in for the past few days. What about all of these good hopes we all have? Maybe it’s a baby, a marriage, a ministry, a mission, a home, a voice, a victory. We hope for good things.
I don’ t think we should stop asking for them. I don’t think we should give up. I don’t think we should self-protect.
This is hope, that we would take these tender things so close to our hearts and lay them at the feet of the Lord. If the answer is no, not yet, maybe never He will still be there. He is able to carry our broken hearts; the very hearts that are laid bare before Him anyway.
Defeatism is not the cure for disappointment. Hope is. Hope: that confident expectation of something good. Hope: that belief that God is good even if life doesn’t feel like it. Hope: that understanding that nothing is wasted in God’s economy. Maybe our hopes will go unmet and maybe they will be overwhelmingly answered. Either way we can believe and trust that He will meet us there and He will be the same loving, pursuing, saving, rock solid, best God He’s forever been.
So. Let’s keep asking.