Today Springtime arrived bringing her blossoms and gnats and afternoon filtered sunshine. We stuck close to home and threw tennis balls on the roof of the building next door. The dog barked at every single squirrel on our block. Then he sat down all slumped up next to me and watched our youngest scramble to catch his falling, falling roof pitched ball.
Somewhere in my spirit this week, Springtime has been being born, too. I’ve been putting my hands to creating more and there is so much hope in that; in sitting down to forge something out of what you already have. One afternoon I finished off a few things in my girl’s room while I had her older brother keep her busy. After what felt like eons, I called her up to surprise her with pom pom trimmed curtains and a bright bedskirt and her paintings framed. Somehow I’d let that go for a year. And this morning I felt extra inspired so I put together some pillowcases from vintage trim I stashed from my former business and some Swiss dot I bought on sale last week. Now I want to make a million more.
Would y’all like to see more of my home? Sometimes I feel fuzzy about what I should post here.
I missed posting an update about Whole Ladies this week and I’ve been thinking about you all and how you encouraged me last week. I survived that birthday even though my van smelled like pizza for days after. It went off without much extra attention or explaining and I think my girl felt extra special. I also know that I have a very stubborn heart. I still feel mad over what I can’t have, especially when I’m tired or even when I’m wanting to celebrate. I am going to have to find the medium between enjoying good, quality food and rewarding myself with food. After our family left on Saturday I decided to cook up the most delicious meal as a consolation for not even getting a bite of strawberry cake. Straw!Berry!Cake! I burnt the burgers. The side dish was just meh. And I was reminded that rewarding myself with food is the same old escapism.
And then, tonight, my husband helped me do the very complicated act of counting 30 days and I realized that I actually won’t be done until Tuesday night instead of Monday night. So I don’t feel very much like I’m winning because I have been living for Tuesday morning and all of its possibilities. I’m a little scared of what freedom will mean except for the fact that my body will definitely react when I reintroduce food. So maybe that’s just as important: realizing how that junk really makes me feel instead of idealizing the day when I will get to eat my beloved parmesan cheese again.
How are you all doing on your health journeys?
Some other random things about this day: we dyed eggs. I bought brown eggs which was a personal affront to our youngest. Somehow he survived and we were able to get the depth of color somewhat close to his expectations.
I got to decorate a handful of eggs and I’m so very thankful that even though we are on the precipice of pre-teen (really, I think we’re already there) everyone sat down and was enthusiastic about trying all kinds of different techniques. Also? Our youngest two spent fifteen tear and grumble filled minutes holding hands and sitting very closely in the pursuit of harmony. I’m not sure it was going anywhere good. In the end, Daddy swooped in and settled it all.
Today is a waiting day. Christ rested and waited in all of His power for His Resurrection morning. And tomorrow will be full of celebration. We invited a friend over to eat with us. It’s something we’ve done for the past few years for friends who are far from home in different types of ways. I really wanted to sew up some new napkins and all of the sudden I’m so very sure that I need placemats. I even got out my Grandmother’s tablecloth which always seemed so stuffy to me but Grover scratched the tabletop last week so it’s kind of necessary and now I realize I kind of like it. In the end I decided everything was lovely. Lovely enough. I copied Edie a bit for the place settings and called it a day. And my knives are facing the wrong way. Or are they? I can’t even remember.
Tomorrow is the Hope and Healing day. I pray you enjoy a beautiful Easter Sunday.