a prayer for the right now and the almost there.

fiveyearold1

Dear Lord,

Please don’t ever let me forget what it’s like to meet a five year old fresh from a night of sleep.

The cheeks swathed in pink. The hair mussed and smelling of apple shampoo. The eyes open, artless and tinted darker with sleep still hanging on.

Please don’t let me forget how there is still the slight puff of toddlerhood on a warm face. Or how it feels to have short and plump little arms fold around me, how it feels to get the tiniest scratch on my back from nubbin fingers.

I know what is coming, the good and the harder. How we totter at the edge of the heart realm. There will be beautiful moments filled with love notes and tears and adventure. There will be harder moments filled with rushed words and trying to meet in the middle. I’ll holler with pride at ball games and call my husband in tears over bad choices. I know all of this, half of me already in that world.

fiveyearold2

Right now? I need to grasp so tightly how it feels to know the slight pudge of a still young belly’s deadweight against me. How it feels to kiss a soft neck and know that all of this child can still fold up in my lap with rounded knees and stumpy little toes.

fiveyearold3

I relish what will come and that is why right now I need written all over my heart the way soft and full brown eyelashes just barely rest over rosy cheeks under full and wiry bedhead.

fiveyearold4

Amen.

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